11.29.18 - A Want For Motivation

Dear Sweet Babe,

I want to take today to tell you about motivation.

You are going to have goals. It’s part of being alive, wanting. I’ve already witnessed you experiencing this inherent trait, and, thankfully, your wants have been simply thus-far. You want your momma’s and dad’s attention. You want to not have to sit in a dirty diaper. You want food and goddammit if you don’t want it right this very instant because this hunger just feels way too real, and am I starving to death?!?!

You are going to have more wants. You are going to have, at times, a seemingly insurmountable mountain of want. That’s part of growing up: finding more complex things to want. Sometimes the wants will be so complex that you won’t even know yourself what exactly you’re wanting. 

Is it companionship, or just a touch that I’m craving? Do I want a medium rare steak au poivre with an arugula salad and pickled cucumbers in a red wine vinaigrette, or will just any form of food to put in my mouth do? Should I try for working out, or am I wanting to do the dishes first, or would I do best to just lay in bed?

For me, want can be too much, at times. I feel anxious, as if every path laid in front of me is equally terrible, as well as the exact right step I need to take. I start to look into the possible futures that every want could lead me down, and then I’m reminded of my past, when I’ve made similar decisions, and then I think of how those decisions have lead to past failures at times, and then, if I’m not careful, I enter into a downward spiral of bad thoughts of insecurity, doubt, and indecision.

So, why do I even try?

Well, sweet thing, because fate is not so cruel as to hand us any storm that we cannot weather.

Failure is not a punishment, but a lesson. So, when we want, and try, and fail, then we shouldn’t take that as a sign that we should stop wanting…but we should take that as a sign that we should keep trying.

There are all sorts of ways that you can try, but I find it best if you take it one step at a time. Look at your want and take one step closer to making your want come true. Tiny steps lead to more tiny steps. Tiny successes easily lead into other related tiny activities. Tiny failures are so much easier to move on from. If you keep it tiny, you’ll find that life stays much more manageable and changes are more easily implemented.

And, of course, throughout your tiny goals, please, always remember: you can do this. Life is really hard sometimes. It can really kick your ass. Remember, you can kick back.

xxx